“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Of course, that’s not true. Words can be hurtful, particularly when hurled as an epithet. I sat in on a discussion recently about the use of queer, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, gender non-conforming, non-binary, intersex, inquiring, and questioning. The handful of people could not agree among themselves. The interpretation and meaning of the words was very personal and had a different connotation for each of them. Depending upon their experience, the history of the words was different.

That’s not even getting into the quagmire of the use of pronouns. Obviously, it’s a very personal decision, and people are sensitive about it. Therefore, in many circumstances people are asked to identify their preference so there is no misunderstanding. I guess the answer is, “just ask first.”

It is apparent that the word homosexual is still used primarily in a pejorative context. In the antiquity of history, gender identity was not explicitly expressed. It usually ranged over a series of descriptive terms based upon a specific culture. American indigenous people referred to the “third sex.” Polynesian people had no boundaries on sex.

“Transvestite” was a popular term in describing cross-dressers. For a long time drag performers preferred the term female impersonators. Drag seems to have become a popular term in anti-LGBTQ legislation. The so-called “Don’t say Gay” legislation doesn’t explain what you should say. Whereas it once was a word that could not be used in “polite society,” the homophobes splash gay all over the place. I don’t understand their venom towards us. Regardless of the accusations, we are not pedophiles.

We are portrayed as “groomers” or those who try to indoctrinate heterosexuals, particularly children. Republicans not only appear to be trying to expunge us from history but also from literature. Hence the growing surge in burning books. It also stokes the anger of people who already are mad about the travails of the working class who have been abused by the corporations for 40 years.

Move over Jewish people, we’re the newer bogeyman. Anti-Semitism has grown as well as violence against Moslems, particularly since the Hamas’ invasion of Israel. Parallels have been drawn comparing today in the US with Hitler’s Germany. Gays eventually also were sent to concentration camps, but the murderous campaign against the Jews was far worse even from the beginning. It clearly was a case of genocide.

“Hate crimes” is a legal term for crimes based on hostility towards those of different races, religion, country of origin, sexual preference, ethnicity, or gender identify. Even in today’s so-called progressive society, some still exhibit an extreme hatred of women. It is hatred of “others” who are not White Anglo-Saxon Protestants. It can include incitement to violence as well as actual violence. Violent speech can lead to physical violence. Of course, they were bombing churches, temples, and mosques before they started bombing gay bars.

Violence against the LGBTQ community is not new. I have known people whose friends or partners have been murdered in cold blood without provocation.

Words matter, not only in personal conversations, but also in a social context, particularly in the use of social media. Facebook and X spread the flame of anger and bigotry regardless of efforts to contain the violence. LGBTQ stands for a panoply of people, and it is not easy to arrive at clear-cut definitions sometimes. Name-calling is an insult in any case, and putting labels on people de-humanizes them. Stereotypes may be comic in some circumstances, especially when played too broadly. I may make fun of myself, but I may be offended when you do it.

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