I hoped for a local report of the Estes Park convocation, but apparently that is not forthcoming. Some of the energy did return to our area, however, and the two recent RUM-NC planning sessions focused on developing a plan for 2010. We discussed advocacy and pastoral care and how they both play a role in our mission. We provide witnesses not only at annual conference but also in our local church. We tend to the hurt and wounded who have been damaged by the hostility of our church. While many see us as proselytizers, our mission is to reach out and welcome everyone --- even those with whom we disagree. We’re not trying to divide the church; we’re trying to heal the church from a grievous schism of hypocrisy.

I have friends who have left the Methodist church for more welcoming congregations. One even gave up the ministry, and another who was a minister died without ever acknowledging the lies he had lived with throughout his career and the damage that had done to him and to his family. We not promoting a debate about a handful of bible scriptures; we’re not going to change any minds about that. The theologians don’t even consider it a valid argument anymore. The morality we address is about double standards, dishonesty, distrust, and discrimination based upon a 19th Century social standard. It took the Methodist church 78 years to heal from the split over slavery. We ordained women 53 years ago, but in many cases, they still do not receive equal treatments in terms of appointments even though we do have women bishops. We’ve dragged our heals on nearly every social issue for generations and as such we have lost much of the enthusiasm and relevance to attract the unchurched. They point with some justification to our hypocrisy.

The bishop made a surprise appearance at church this morning, and of course, everyone fawned over him. I recalled an intense meeting several years ago with the bishop and a group of us in the basement of Calvary UMC in which he told a young seminarian he ought to look elsewhere for a career and patronized the rest of us. Today I was sorely tempted to go up to him and ask him again if he really understood how many people had been wounded by the hostility of the church. I know people who have died as the result either of being unable to reconcile their innermost concept of themselves with the official doctrine of the church or who actually have been murdered by violence promoted by this hostility. I’m sorry, but “love the sinner and hate the sin” is a cop-out. I’m sure that he would have said that was neither his intent or that of the church, but the consequences are still the same. Of course, that would have been rude and impolite, and we good Methodists must maintain probity above all else. That’s why we can’t even say “Amen” in church anymore. John Wesley would be shocked. I’m sorry, but the hand waving and song swooning at the contemporary services don’t count.

I’ve given up that I will be reconciled with my church during my lifetime. I receive lip service that I’m welcome, and that is in some ways more hurtful than outright rejection. I’m still an outsider looking in. I’m too old to carry on the battle any longer. Let the next generation struggle on.

May the peace we all long for come not only in our church, but also in our nation and in our world. Let the peace that passes all understanding be with you and those you love during this advent season.