Gay marriage is perhaps the most controversial issue in the public eye today, with the possible exception of the economy. Last fall Proposition 8 (the anti-gay marriage referendum in California) got almost as much play in the national media as the national election. It all started in Massachusetts a few years ago with their court ruling that set off shock waves across the country. We got national legislation with the Defense of Marriage Act, most states passed similar legislation, and many also passed Constitutional Amendments. We’re getting ready for a replay this spring here in North Carolina.

Gay marriage challenges peoples’ core beliefs in a way that exceeds even the controversy about ordination of gay clergy or gays being allowed to join the church. Somehow it is more “sacred” than anything else, even though baptism and communion are the only sacraments of the church. Marriage rituals, funerals, etc. are “rites” of the United Methodist Church and part of the church ordinances (in the case of the Methodists spelled out in the Book of Discipline.)

So who touched the “third rail” of politics (not counting Social Security) to set off this whole debate? Well, I guess you could blame it on the Massachusetts Supreme Court although Hawaii also got involved in the act. The Human Rights Campaign in Washington has gotten involved in the politics in a very big way, particularly in the case of Proposition 8, but they didn’t start the movement.

The core of the controversy is still the wide-spread belief that homosexuality is a sin “because the Bible says so.” In fact, the few citations cited refer to same sex activity as an “abomination” in the same way most of them refer to the eating of pork and shellfish. Paul was concerned about the sexual licentiousness of the Romans, and the Jewish Torah was concerned about the common practice of Temple Prostitution of Baal in Canaan. Human sacrifice was common practice almost up until the time of Christ so it’s hard to comprehend just how gruesome and outrageous some of the early religious practices were across many cultures. According to the historian John Boswell, homosexuality continued to be practiced openly and without much restraint through the 11th Century. Throughout the Middle Ages, not only did the open practice of homosexuality continue, but also it flourished in the monasteries of the time.

Picture6Some have accused the Reconciling Methodists and Friends of North Carolina of promoting an agenda of gay marriage and ordination of gay clergy because some other groups in the state have done so and because some of the national political action committees (PACS) are doing so. That may be a long-term objective of the Reconciling Ministries Network with whom we are affiliated, but RUMN and RUM-NC currently only are supporting a proposed constitutional amendment that was approved by the UMC General Conference last year but still must be approved by a majority of the Annual Conferences that would change the wording to be more inclusive of membership.

I donate to most of the groups supporting various aspects of gay liberation and the fight for equality and have “polled” consistently that my personal priorities are 1) The Employment Non-Discrimination Act (most people aren’t aware that in many situations you can be fired just for being suspected of being gay whether or not that is true in fact.) 2) Repeal of the “Don’t ask, don’t Tell” Executive Order that Bill Clinton weaseled on in trying to achieve a compromise that never worked. Somewhere in all this hoopla people seem to have forgotten that six years ago the U.S. Supreme Court stuck down all state sodomy laws that had made homosexuality a criminal offense (a misdemeanor similar to petty larceny.) Since we are no longer criminals, all of the state sodomy legislation for the past 50 years was suspect since most assumed that homosexuals were criminals and therefore could be deprived of certain rights through the same rationale used for felons.

So where is the dividing line between civil rights for minorities and acceptance of homosexuals into the United Methodist Church? As was recently brought home to me very forcefully recently, the United Methodist Church isn’t united on much of anything these days, and although the issue of gender equality supposedly was resolved 50 years ago it is still an issue in the North Carolina Annual Conference. I don’t want to get bogged into splitting hairs between “civil unions” and “marriage.” But a marriage license is issued by the state and not by the church. Many people choose not to get “married” in a church. Whether or not the church ritual we describe as a ceremony or rite may be threatened by some action of the state is not under consideration. Whether a United Methodist minister may perform a ceremony or a ritual inside of or outside of the sanctuary is clearly delineated in the Book of Discipline, and I don’t have the endurance to try to change church law. It is a slow, painful, and ponderous process, and we’re still getting over reunification after the Civil War and the merger with the United Brethren.

So what does RUM-NC do? In my personal experience, I’ve found that our major function has been to provide an opportunity for people to express their dismay, concern, hurt, unbelief, or estrangement from the church of themselves or a loved one. They come to us to pour out their hearts at our monthly meetings, in quiet conversations behind our table at Annual Conference, in our various workshops and worship gatherings. We are not there to “propagandize an agenda”; we’re here to reconcile folks with their church in belief that there is still hope that the church may grow in understanding and become more fully inclusive and less inclined to judgment, hostility, and disparagement of some of the most wounded of God’s children.